Daring to Repair: What is It, Who Does It & Why?

dare-to-repairI have four poems in this anthology published by Universal Table/Wising Up Press, a wonderful organization run by two very enthusiastic and passionate people: Heather Tosteson and Charles Brockett. We had a reading at the Center for the Arts at the Armory in Somerville MA in the spring of 2012.

What is repair in relationships? It’s not starting anew. It’s not jumping ship. It’s not settling, either. It takes as many forms as there are relationships. It’s difficult. It matters. It takes both sides to do it-and we do it all the time, in large and small ways. So why don’t we like to talk about it? Why do we tend to think of it as a failure rather than a source of resilience, like the constant re-equilibrations of balance that allow us to walk, dance, break bread and move mountains?

In this intriguing anthology of poetry, memoir, and story, forty-four talented writers ages twenty to eighty explore repair in many forms: between adults and their parents, parents and their children, in romantic relationships, marriage, divorce, bereavement because of the death of a parent, spouse, or grandchild, and in relationship to broader social conditions as well, like poverty, addiction, racism, war, physical differences, disease. With humor, grief, wit, tenderness, honesty, kindness, anger and hope, they invite us to explore-and celebrate-what it takes for all of us to stay connected. This is a book you can find yourself in. This is a book you can share-with a brother, a long lost friend or one you talk with daily, a parent, a child, a colleague, a spouse-and learn something new about them and yourself, growing closer in the process.

Contributors: Patricia Barone, Bari Benjamin, Wendy Brown-Báez, Caitlin Buckley, Rose Burke, Susan Kay Chernilo, Arhm Choi, Marian Mathews Clark, Willy Conley, Terry Cox-Joseph, Bill Denham, Martha Gies, Judith Goedeke, Janet Lunder Hanafin, R.E. Hayes, William Henderson, Paul Hostovsky, Beth Lefebvre, Russ Allison Loar, Michele Markarian, Diane Mierzwik, Caridad Moro, Tim Myers, Wendy Jones Nakanishi, Eve Mills Allen, Sophia J. Nolan, Jim Pahz, Rachel Raimondi, Melanie Reitzel, Lori Rottenberg, Mary Kay Rummel, Adrienne Ross Scanlan, Evelyn Sharenov, Isabelle Bruder Smith, Thomas J. Stevenson, Elizabeth Swann, Elaine J. Taber, Don Thackrey, Heather Tosteson, Carol Tufts, Georgann Turner, Marta Tveit, Andy Weatherwax, Mary Wheeler, Weihua Zhang.

Search Engine Strategies (SES) London 2008

This interview was recorded at Search Engine Strategies in London just a couple of months after my Deep Brain Stimulation (DBS) surgery. It  was my last presentation before my early retirement.

I loved my job! Flying around the world dropping truth-bombs at conferenses and meeting with shell-shocked Global 100 clients. The impact of the digital age cannot be over-stated!


Andy Weatherwax, a Founding Partner and the Director of Search Operations at Global Strategies Intl., spoke at the Big Site, Big Search session at SES London 2008, which looked at the problems and solutions unique to those running big sites or from big companies and brands. How do you cope with doing search engine optimization for a company with tens of divisions, hundreds of products, thousands of web pages and seemingly no way to bring order to the chaos? Where do you begin with the SEO process?

If you don’t know him yet, Andy Weatherwax is a founding partner of Global Strategies International (GSI) and has served as embedded digital marketing consultant on global accounts including IBM, Nokia, BP, Cisco, P&G and Kodak. A specialist in the area of enterprise CMS configuration and Consumer Intent Modeling, he is currently working with clients and their agencies to leverage search in the marketing mix.

Prior to Global Strategies, Andy was owner of BrainBug Internet Marketing, an award winning digital marketing consultancy providing online marketing strategy for clients including MetLife, Konica Minolta, Pfizer, WebM, Priceline and Yahoo. In 2003, he was contracted by Position Technologies to develop the user experience design for Yahoo/Overture Site Match and Site Match Exchange.

A frequent speaker at industry conferences, Andy has been involved in online marketing since 1995. He has been the recipient of many prestigious awards for digital design including the Codie Award.

When he is not working, Andy can be found off-shore sailing or playing music. He holds a Bachelor of Fine Arts in Jazz Studies from the Hartt School of Music.

The Story of Herb Hilgenberg

Herb Hilgenberg is, among other things, a sailor. From 1967 to 1982, he raced in and won various North American championships.  In 1982, he had an experience that would change is life.

The sailing vessel South Bound II set sail Nov. 6, 1982 from Beaufort, N.C.On board were Canadian sailing enthusiast Herb Hilgenberg, his wife, Brigitte, and their 6-year-old and 14-year-old daughters.

The Hilgenbergs were looking forward to an enjoyable voyage to the Virgin Islands.

The weather forecast indicated a high pressure system would be moving toward the North Carolina coast and bring settled conditions near shore.

As they sailed toward Cape Lookout, N.C., the winds began to increase and thunderstorm clouds appeared from the east.  The winds were at 25 to 35 knots. The North Carolina weather forecast they were monitoring indicated no change to the earlier forecast. Assuming that it was a temporary pattern, the Hilgenbergs sailed on.

The winds steadily increased, and with them the seas. The 39-foot South Bound II was being tossed around in winds blowing 50 to 60 knots and seas reaching 45 feet.

Hilgenberg fractured his arm during the height of the storm, but fortunately he and his family survived, arriving in the Virgin Islands on the 10th day of their trip.

Herb  Hilgenberg

Herb Hilgenberg

From this turning point in his life, he began a part time hobby in Bermuda; using his single sideband radio to provide weather briefs to mariners crossing the Atlantic, providing weather data to the National Weather Service and passing on updated information to the boating community at large.

In 1994, Herb and his wife, Brigitte, also an advanced amateur radio operator, retired to Burlington, Ontario, their home town, and restarted the Southbound II net. When Southbound II’s daily net opens at 20:00 UTC, a cacophony of radio noise erupts as vessels call in from the Caribbean, along the eastern seaboard and throughout the Atlantic.

Herb provides his interpretation of weather data relevant to each boat, summarizing his opinions so mariners can make educated decisions. For long passages, “Always have a five-day plan” Herb says. If your plan changes, advise Herb as he often worries about those who don’t heed his warnings and waypoints. “If I give a warning and they choose not to go to the waypoint….tell me… then I can give a forecast for where ever you choose to go.”

Herb remembers advising a group of boats between Florida and Bermuda to stay put due to an incoming storm. All but one stopped. Later that night, Herb received a call from the Coast Guard advising that the on-going boat sank, with no survivors. Herb says that it was agonizing to talk to relatives who couldn’t contact the boat; it was a tragedy that needn’t have happened had the boat left its radio on.

Herb updates his powerful equipment at his own cost while providing this free service to all interested mariners, every day, 51 weeks a year. Updated equipment includes one X-B antenna, a horizontal dipole designed in the form of an ‘X’ that is directional for better reception and a vertical antenna, used for a lower frequency or transmitting to the north where he communicates with tugs in Hudson Bay and the Arctic. He can use both via a switch that goes to a second ssb radio and uses two computers; one for satellite through the internet and the other for collecting weather charts and downloads from the internet. But it isn’t just his equipment that gives his information importance – it’s also his 20+ years of experience interpreting that data.

Some of his most rewarding moments come when he receives a call at night from the Coast Guard who’ve received a mayday but can’t get the boat’s position. Herb searches for the mayday on his frequency, makes contact with the boat, co-ordinates transmissions and activities amongst the Coast Guard and commercial boats in the area, and helps to set up a successful rescue.

Herb says that at the end of the day, he and Brigitte, who takes care of all correspondence and occasionally monitors check-ins and responds if need be, are happy to have simply helped people and kept them safe through another day at sea.

Thanks for a good watch, Herb.

 

Bermuda to Groton: Day 8

6/11
6:00am
The sun rose on schedule today – one week to the day we set sail. With 80 miles to go. We won’t dock until after dark this evening. Another day is paradise as Jay is fond of saying. Makes the crap we went through just a distant memory. Watching the sun rise this morn helps to remind: Oh yeah, this is why you go off shore sailing.

4:30 pm
Could not check in with Herb due to bad propagation caused by solar flairs.

We caught a good sized Blue Fish – It’s what’s for dinner.

So, after all the shit we went through we were really looking forward to seeing land, and having a couple of brews while we made our way to dock. No such luck. We don’t even get the pleasure of watching land slowly embrace us as a heavy fog set in. Can barley see the bow it’s so thick. We’re in heavy fog & light winds 1 hr from Montauk – 4.1 mile to Montauk point and 19 miles or so from shenny. No beer for us, not now, not in these conditions.

Fog can be very disconcerting. We’ve tuned the radio listen for radar reports from other boats. I will be spending the next several hours on the deck with eyes and ears peeled watching out for other boats as we enter the heavily trafficked Long Island Sound. We are targeting Race Point Light.

9:00 pm
We’re home! Docked! The boat is in tatters. The first land we saw was Race Point Light – dead ahead 2 boat lengths away. GPS doesn’t lie. We made a quick move to starboard and hugged the shore to the Club.

We’re drinking beer and Jay is cooking up the Bluefish. Crazy ride! Jay paid me a great complement. He thanked me for being outstanding crew in shitty conditions and said he admired how I handled stuff especially considering I have PD.

I’m proud of the accomplishment. I’m stronger for the experience. I don’t ever want people to look at me and say “poor guy has Parkinson’s”. No, that won’t do. I want to be the guy people look at and say “he’s done all that, and can you believe he has Parkinson’s?” I have my work cut out for me. I’m ready for the challenge. I am not afraid.

Bermuda to Groton: Day 7

5:50 am
Beautiful day! Sunny and clear do 6.2 knots on flat (Yeah!) seas on a beat north. The electronic Autopilot held through the night allowing Jay and I to catch up on some much needed sleep. I was out!

We have 2 types of autopilots on board – an electronic “autohelm” that can sail to the wind or to a course and a mechanical wind-vane the sails the wind. The wind-vane is an ingenious piece of engineering developed by a Frenchman.

12:45 pm
Clear, not a cloud in the sky. What a beautiful day beating N at 7 knots this morn, – doing 6 know. Spent most of the morning chatting with Jay – a real pleasant sail. Listened to Steve Ray Vaugh, Duke & Louie.

3:00 pm
Wind shifted to the west – doing 6 knots. Snapped a few pictures. Not much to photograph out here. I thought of taking photos of the foul weather but you need two hands and why risk splitting your head open for a photo of foamy water.
We jury rigged the wind vane with a hose clamp and jury rigged the auto helm with a bottle of turtle wax wedged between the helm post I guessed you . .. ? call it and the autohelm to keep it engaged.

165 miles home – probably get in tomorrow evening 10-12 or so – Yes!

Herb says our wind will crap out tonight – screw it, we’ll motor.

4:30 pm
Eating well today – our appetites are back with the clear skies and flat seas. Noodle and chicken for breakfast a burger for lunch and Jay’s cookin us pork tenderloin with corn & potatoes. At noon today we split the Sam Smith winter Welcome I gave Jay back in Nov. to see him off. Delicious. North of the Gofl celebration. We’ve hardly eaten the past few days. Had a snickers and ½ can of Dinty More Stew yesterday, a cliff bar & apple the day before.

Everything is drying out below. The moon is up and getting full. Should be a beautiful night to keep watch.

Listening to Duke & Satchmo, sound of the water; just beautiful.

Offshore sailing is about the weather. If it weren’t, and it were always sunny, blowing 15 knots with flat seas the ocean would be full of boats.

Jay is a good skipper. Though off-shore sailing has a never ending learning curve he certainly knows what he is doing. He can jury-rig anything, A must for offshore sailing. He is prepared for what ever might be in store.

8:00 pm
I have 1st watch. 2 hr watches tonight. The sun is setting into a cloud in the sky. Doing 5.2 knots. The sounds this evening are not like the cacophony of the past few. They are sweet swooshes and gentle creaks. The movement of the boat is smooth unlike the jarring jerks and bounces of the past couple of days. Jay is asleep. I am peaceful. The phrase so close and yet so far comes to mind this evening. This time tomorrow we ought to be seeing the light off Montauk. The brown boobies are still with us running on the water looking at the lure we set out.

I am starting to stress again about the real world that lay ahead. Why? I have everything – I do look forward to kissing Josa.

When I wake up
I want to wake up next to you
When I am walking
I want to be walking next to you
When I am laughing
I want to laugh next to you
When I am crying
I want to be crying next to you
When I lay down
I want to lay down next to you.